I have been pretty happy-go-lucky for the most part throughout this pregnancy, but I now know that those hormones have just been hanging out in there waiting to explode. Which they did a couple nights ago. I mean, I have had one little breakdown a couple months ago, but this one had me sobbing like a baby.
Why, you might ask? I wish I knew. All I do know is one minute I was fine, the next I was storming off to the bedroom to lay in bed and cry for an hour.
Luckily, Brian being the supportive husband that he is ... and although he had no clue why I was crying and probably was thinking he married a crazy lady ... was able to calm me down (but he was smart enough to give me about 45 minutes of alone time to get the worst of it out).
I do know that I have been keeping things to myself as to not burden those around me with crazy pregnancy complaints every day, and that might be part of the problem. I have such great friends and family who are willing to listen, why not take advantage of it? If I had to pinpoint the source of my meltdown, I would say it was part fear/nerves of what is about to change in the next couple months, and part feeling like a fat moose every day. I wake up every morning and still feel like I have the body I had a year ago, and then I try to sit up and realize I have no abs, but a beach ball stuck on my belly, and it's only going to get worse before it gets better.
And the idea of having an "outside baby" is so exciting but so nervewracking at the same time. Not to mention the process I have to go through to get there.
I think I was able to vent it all out to Brian that night and am feeling a lot better, but it's scary knowing that I will probably have another freak-out or two before our little man makes his grand arrival.
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