Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Dear House,

I would really appreciate it if you quit changing shapes and sizes! As soon as the weather changes you feel the need to swell or shrink. I would rather not have to body-slam the back door to get it to close because one of these times I am going to go straight through the glass. I enjoy the rain but obviously it is causing you to bloat and making our lives more difficult. When its hot you shrink, when its humid you swell ... will it ever be win-win with you? I'd appreciate some cooperation.

Sincerely,
Your homeowners

(For those of you who don't know ... the soil in Texas is clay and absolutely ridiculous. The slightest change in weather wreaks havic on the foundation and makes it do very crazy things. When it's hot, you have to water the foundation to keep it from shrinking, but when it gets too much water it swells and changes the shape of the door frames and such.)

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